I wish life had little blips of pornography
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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