If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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