Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
