Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Houston, we have a blender
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
