i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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