ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
