"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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