Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
