We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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