You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
