i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
