i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
