Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
