Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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