Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
