it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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