so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
