Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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