My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
