I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
