it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
