he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
