Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
