Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
