I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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