if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
