I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Umm I'm too high to move.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
