people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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