Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
