I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
