How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
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