Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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