i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So vagazzling was a success
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
