That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
