I love black thongs
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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