look no pants
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
