god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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