the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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