Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
