Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
