The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
