I just threw up on my dentist
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
