Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Bang-toberfest begins!!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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