I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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