Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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