You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
