suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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