Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
