I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
