i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
