doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
