I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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